Sexual Performance Anxiety: Causes And Solutions

sexual performance anxiety

Sexual Performance Anxiety 

There is a strong relationship between anxiety and sexual performance. It may not make sense if you look at it in a manner that describes anxiety as a psychological factor and sexual performance as a physical factor. But you know what the reality of the situation is? Sexual activity is not simply a physical response by the body.

There is an immense emphasis laid on the underlying emotions of a human being. If you overthink or are stressed due to some reason. Then it becomes harder to focus on sex. This is the reason that internal factors in the body fail to get together and perform well in bed.

1. Reasons

  • Any kind of fights, discomfort, or incompatibility in your personal relationships.
  • The fear that you will not be able to sustain an erection for as long as your partner would need to be satisfied. 
  • The worry of ejaculating way too early and the whole episode being portrayed as a dissatisfactory experience. 
  • Prolonged duration to achieve orgasm.
  • The tension and anxiety caused due to your looks. This can include overweight, baldness, deformities, skin infections, etc.
  • The ultimate fear of being a poor performer in bed.

Problems like these are the reason that the body begins to release stress hormones such as Epinephrine and Norepinephrine. Stress hormones also have an evident physical impact on the body such as the narrowing of blood vessels. This narrowing defeats the purpose of generating an erection as blood flow to the penis region is reduced and it becomes harder to generate an erection. 

Although less common in women, sexual anxiety is something that can affect the libido of women. Random fears, worries, secondary thoughts, and stress can lead to very little lubrication in the vagina. This makes it an unsatisfactory experience for both, the man and the woman. Eventually, also leading to a loss of interest in making love.

If you are struggling to get a hold of your thoughts, then it would be a wise option to consider undergoing treatment for your anxiety issues that are negatively impacting your sexual performance.

2. Solutions

  • Take it easy when you are in bed – do not directly rush to the part that involves sexual intercourse.
  • Read up on some educating material regarding sexual behavioral patterns.
  • Meditate and consider clearing your head of all the distressing and negative thoughts.
  • Only focus on actions that you are capable of performing in bed. Forget about what is difficult to do on your behalf.
  • If the majority of your anxiety is due to relationship issues then it would be sensible to go for a few couples counseling sessions. These sessions will bring more clarity to the problem at hand, thus making it easier to resolve them.
  • Consider therapy to reduce stress, combat depression, and other negative factors that are diverting your mind from sex.
  • The best option of all would be to practice massage therapy with your partner. Take turns and perform sensual massages on each other. This can help to naturally get rid of worries and other mental blockages.

Guided Imagery is one of the most effective therapy techniques that will help you overcome performance anxiety. The outcome would relieve you and let you overcome mental tension by tapping into your unconscious mind. Images are pictured through the recording to transcend your body and mind. Into a trance-like state via an audio script that takes you to beautiful sensual places as per your written desires. 

It’s quite simple actually, you need to write and record an ideal sex session with your partner. While hearing the recording, you will automatically feel aroused and get a feel of what a stress-free and pleasurable sexual interaction feels like. The deeper you venture into guided imagery. The more your conscious mind will be equipped with battling performance issues.

3. Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive Restructuring is another self-therapy route that you can attempt to master. It can also be called attitude change. The crux of this solution lies in the fact that you have to identify the belief about the issues you are facing during sex. For example – Rather than thinking “I will not be able to satisfy my partner due to my weak erections, premature ejaculation issue, and failure to have a full-fledged orgasm”, you must deduce a more positive attitude and approach towards the situation.

You should say something like “Despite the downsides, I and my partner can have a great sexual experience provided we focus on touch, seductive sensations, feelings, and collective sensory experiences. This new approach will automatically find its place in your thoughts and begin to replace the negative thoughts that were disrupting your sex life. Would you prefer guidance for this treatment? You can always get in touch with a Cognitive-Behavioral Therapist (CBT).

4. Experiencing ED

Break the cycle that always takes a whole round and comes back to the point where your anxiety is leading to a lower quality of sexual performance. As a man, it would benefit you to understand that having a poor sexual experience once in a while is a perfectly normal situation. Even if you are experiencing ED once a week or every fortnight, there is no reason to worry. If you dwell on this thought too much you will accept the fact and fall into a “loop of considering yourself a failure”.

Rather than focusing on the negative aspects of the cycle, people should consider figuring out what are they perceiving as a sexual failure. Ideally, shift the focus to the cause of your poor sexual performance, rather focusing on the symptoms. Attributing the issue to another entity altogether can be a great way to reduce the pressure to perform well in bed. 

You need to calm down, examine the situation, leave intoxicants behind, be more open with your partner, do a little meditation, try diverting your mind, etc. to bridge the gap that anxiety and sexual performance are creating in your daily sex life.